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talk about one stressful day. i haven't been getting much sleep since…

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talk about one stressful day. i haven't been getting much sleep since i arrived here (staying up very late, getting up very early), and today was no different. my grandma is still in the hospital, and they were supposed to be taking some of the tubes and the ventilator out of her, but her white blood cell count was much too high, and she also has pneumonia, so we all just went back to bed. it's the first day i got a lot of sleep, and my body still feels like crap. the rest of the day was spent crying, worrying, waiting, and baking a cake to try and cheer us up. last night my mom thanked me for being here, and said without me, things would be a lot worse. it feels nice to have someone recognize me for what i do, i just wish it wasn't under such shitty terms.

i have a job interview in the morning at the rocket bakery downtown. i feel fairly confident, but i don't want to be too full of myself. nikk also put in his resume at the sandwich place across from the bakery, and i know there are a bunch of apartments we like in the area. things seems to be sort of coming together in slow motion, but coming together nonetheless. it's still a complicated situation for the most part, but i am so completely hopeful for it to work out in the end. what's best is that we are talking about things, and taking it slow, even though a part of me wants to rush it all. i suppose taking it slow makes it worth it a lot more. we had a long talk today about what makes me sad, and for the past couple of days he has been making me sad. he apologized for spacing out on meeting up with me, and you know, shit happens. but as i told him, i am going through some terrible things right now, and i need him to be there for me when he says he will. i don't want this to end up like it did with the last boyfriend. i am almost 100% sure that it won't be anything like that, but i need to make sure we talk everything out.

ok, have to go because my mom just yelled, "harry potter is on conan". oh, daniel. i am seeing the movie friday!!
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